Mother's Day Thoughts
22 years later, her presence is still felt.
My mom died when I was 16.
My dad left when I was 8 and stopped talking to me when I was 10, so it was just me and my mom. She was my everything.
She was diagnosed with lung cancer on my 16th birthday. I still remember her explaining to friends and family that her cancer was wispy. She would draw a small sketch of her lungs over and over, and each time the cancer would stretch across her illustration. That’s why it was inoperable.
Her eldest sister, the only one to go to college, the one with a degree in science, came to all of her initial appointments. She asked probing questions, pushing the doctors to find a way to save her little sister.
You see, my grandfather, their dad, had died from lung cancer 2 years beforehand, and they didn’t want this to happen again.
My mom began chemo and radiation. It was brutal on her, and 22 years later I still remember specific details of her deterioration.
When I say I was 16, I don’t want you to imagine a capable and self reliant and insightful teenage girl. Though I was very smart, I was very naive. I was trusting. I was dependent on my mom.
When I was told, over and over and over, by my mom and her sister and our family and her friends, that she would get better… I believed them. I saw the toll everything was taking and believed that it was the medicine doing its work.
They say write what you know.
I gave my mother to Dri, and I imagined her cancer as a green dragon perched on her shoulder who was gradually sucking the life from her. Unlike myself, I forced Dri to see.
Since Dri is the only one who can see, she feels responsible for her mother’s survival. I wasn’t able to do anything but love and support my mom, but Dri has a shot.
Throughout Dragonslayer, she is determined to learn to slay the dragon leeching life from her mother. She fears the worst, but she keeps fighting, determined to save the only person she has left.
My mom died, and I never expected that outcome. I was staying with my mom’s best friend while my mom was in the hospital and then in a rehab unit. Her friend woke me up at 3am because they had called to let her know that she was near death. We didn’t make it in time.
I won’t tell you how the book ends, but I will tell you that I didn’t decide how it would end until I got there. I didn’t know if she would make it in time or if she would be able to save her until I got there.
It’s been 22 years, but the lack of her presence is still felt within my life and within my pages.
If you would like to read Dri’s journey, Dragonslayer is available at every online retailer.
